Throughout the year, Jess and I became close. We had three classes together and the one class we didn't have together our classroom's were right next to each other! So, during class we would right notes to each other, and after class was over, we would exchange! We even had our own way of folding the note so that no one else could open it and then refold it the way we had. Wish I could still remember how to do that!! It was fun to fold it knowing that almost everyone that tried to open it ripped it!! After my sophomore year, I went back to being schooled at home and Jess and I lost contact with each other. She went down a road filled with multiple types of drugs and I went back to "life as normal" or at least normal for me.
My youth group was mostly boys with one girl in it, as I had mentioned before. One of the boys, my brother's best friend, came up to me the summer after my sophomore year. He told me of how he was impressed that I stood up under so much pressure. I didn't smoke, do drugs, drink, date the thugs that hit on me, and who knows what else I could have gotten into. He was homeschooled too, and before I knew it, we were dating. Near the beginning of our relationship, I told him that a kiss was going to be saved for the man I would marry. So, he honored that and didn't kiss me. We were both part of a co-op for homeschooler and we were in some of the same classes. We also went to the same church, therefore, we were at all the same events! We saw each other a minimum of 4 days in a natural progression of each week! That wouldn't include times we hung out outside of church and school events or any of the special events at church, such as movie nights, sports nights or couples banquets. We became close friends! We could talk about scripture, events throughout the week, sports (which I still have very little interest in), or just silly nothingness!
He was a high school senior and I was only a junior at the time. He invited me to go to his senior prom near the end of my junior year. That was the first day he had ever tried to venture his hands under my clothes. I was shocked and didn't really know what to do about it, so I didn't stop him. He was not only my boyfriend but my friend and my brother's BEST friend! So I didn't say anything. At my house, I had a roof right outside my window. That night I went and sat out on the window and cried for a long time. I decided that he must have gotten carried away with the night and just decided to dismiss it. Well, it happened again, then again, and again and again and again. I had tried several times to talk him out of it, but didn't have the guts to get up and walk away. There were many things going on in my head about walking away. All of my friends were also his friends...in fact, they had only become my friends because they were his friends. If I left him, I would lose all my friends. If I left him, I would have to explain to my brother why. If left him, I would have to explain to my parents and probably his parents why I left. So, I stayed in the relationship. I had a very low self-esteem and didn't know a good way out. Near the end of the summer, before I went into my senior year, he raped me. The good news was that he didn't get very far, because his father walked in on him. He took me home that night and we spoke very little. The next day, when I got home from my job at a photography studio, there was a note on my pillow. The note said that he felt we should "take a break." In other words, he broke up with me.
Obviously, this did not help my self-esteem. Back when AOL messenger was used, I decided to get online and look through the profiles. I typed in male, single, and then I typed the city we lived in at the time. There were two guys online that night. One was 40 and divorced... ugh!! And the other just said single, so I thought I would give him a try. That night was September 13, 2001. I was still 17 at this point but I was desperate to talk to a guy, so that he could tell me why another guy could treat a girl the way I was treated! The guy I talked to was so sweet, listened to everything I had to say and was encouraging me that not all guys are like that. We talked approximately 7 or 8 hours, into the wee morning hours of the night. Come to find out, he was a pilot, so he had lots of time on his hands because all the airplanes were grounded because of what had happened on September 11, 2001.
So, each day, I hurried through my school work and then signed onto the internet to talk to him! I had absolutely NO interest in a boyfriend at the time because of everything that just happened with my last boyfriend. But as I had originally predicted, when I lost that boyfriend, I lost all of my friends too. So, this pilot was my only friend, his name was Michael. After 2 weeks of talking to him several hours every day, I invited Michael to a sports night sponsored by our church! He said he could come! I was so excited to see what he looked like!! He never showed up. When I got home that night, I rushed to the computer to see why!! He had sent me an e-mail saying that he had been paged for a flight and would be back the next day. I was disappointed, but I understood. Since he was going to be back the next day, he was going to be back in time for church!! I invited him and he said he would love to come!! I waited outside the church for 30 minutes after church had started and finally gave up and went inside. I was disappointed again. I went home and sure enough, he e-mailed me and he hadn't made it home in time to make it to church. The following weekend, we had a movie night at our church. We were going to see October Sky! The church provided hot dogs, soda and popcorn! It was typically one of my favorite activities of the month! So I invited him. He didn't show up. I had another email, he had gotten called out on a flight. I was still talking to him almost every day on the internet, so, I knew it couldn't have been a lie!
One day, I went to my mom, I told her everything that had happened, and how he hadn't been able to come to each of the events. Michael and I had talk almost every day, if not every day, for 2 months!! But we still hadn't met in person! She suggested that we invite him out to our farm for supper!! I said to mom, "What if he is an ax murderer? We live 1/2 mile away from our closest neighbor!" She said, "You have been talking to him about two months. Right?" I nodded. She then added, "Well, your dad has a 22 and your dad and brother will be here, it won't be a problem. You have told me that he doesn't have any friends, and that you aren't interested in dating. I think a friend will be good for you." I hesitantly said, "Ok." I went upstairs, and as always, he was online. So, I asked him if he would be interested in joining me and my family for a home cooked meal. He agreed.
Michael showed up at our house the next day for supper. I still remember sitting on our porch swing with my dad, anxiously waiting for his arrival. He drove up in a purple Dodge Dakota! PURPLE! When he got out of his pickup, I leaned over to dad and whispered, "Look how short he is!!" Dad smiled and said, "I thought you weren't interested in dating." I said, "I'm not, but he is so short!" He got up to us and shook our hands saying it was nice to finally meet us. And who knows what other pleasantries that I don't remember. (that was 13 years ago!!) But what I do remember is his smell... He had the weirdest smell of anyone I've ever known. It was bearable, but didn't smell good. I couldn't identify what I was smelling though.
We had supper together, and he got along really well with our family. Before we knew it, Michael was having supper with us on a weekly basis, then almost a nightly basis when he wasn't flying. He was 21 when we met and I was 17. My dad predicted that as soon as I turned 18 and I was "legal" to date, we would start dating. On my 18th birthday, I wanted to go to a country dance club. I went with my brother, one of his friends, Michael, and another female friend I had gotten to know along the way. Michael was the only one of the whole group that was old enough to drink, so he had a couple. Once he had himself loosened up enough to dance, he danced a couple songs with me. I mostly did line dances and danced with my brother and his friend. We had a great time that night!! I will never forget it.
A month later not only were we not dating, but Michael was dating someone else! I couldn't stand the girl!! And to this day, I don't know if it was because I was jealous or because she was ugly or because I knew she was bad news. Maybe all three! I was still talking to Michael every day, but he started ignoring my calls one weekend. I started flipping out!! Where is he? Is he ok? Is he alive? Is that GIRL telling he cannot be my friend anymore? So, on my way to church on Sunday morning, around 6:30 am, I drove by his apartment. And that girl's car was there!!! I tried calling him and he didn't answer the phone!! I instantly knew what was going on!! She had spent the night!! But I was a very trusting person and I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Later that day, I called and left ANOTHER message on his answering machine. Apparently, the girl he was dating told him that I was in love with him and that he better call me back. So, he did. And he dumped her pretty soon after that.
Three months later, sure enough, we started dating! He took me to the Louise Mandrel Show in Pigeon Forge. That summer, (Summer 2002), I had graduated, and I had the opportunity to meet his parents from NE. They were separated at the time, so I got to meet them individually. The first time I met his mom, she was hysterical! She talked about how glad she was that I was in her son's life. She cried in my car for almost an hour talking about how Michael always said he wasn't going to get married and that I would make a wonderful daughter in law. She asked if I would ever consider the prospect. I was dumbfounded, that wasn't even on my radar yet.
Soon after, in September 2002, I was buying a wedding dress!! We later got married in April 2003!!
Next time, I'll move into the first year of our marriage! Exciting time!
Until that time! May God bless you in your path!
No comments:
Post a Comment